Objects & Attachment: The Illusion of Security
Paige Geffen is one of our favorite Holisticism practitioners. An interior designer and artist by trade, she’s a special soul with a unique gift of understanding the relationship between energy, space, and material objects. If you’re suffering from a post-holiday consumerism hangover, Paige’s words and wisdom provide a panacea.
We all grab on for security.
It’s a very human thing to do. If we look to our spaces and objects, we find that they make us feel secure. But our physical world doesn’t actually provide us security. Yes, physical things can keep us safe and comfortable - shelter, blankets, etc. But even so, there is no guarantee that our roof won’t collapse or that we won’t feel cold.
Attachment is an illusion
When we let go of attachment - to our identity, to our stuff, to people, to how we feel things should be - we are simply letting go of a false sense of security. What does that leave? The truth. And the truth here is that security is an illusion as well.
Everything is constantly in flux, and there is no guarantee that you will stay exactly where you are right now. I can actually promise that you will never be exactly where you are right now again.
Even if your current home, relationship, or job does not change, your perspective will. Tomorrow you may wake up in the same bed with the same sheets in your same body, but you will most likely feel differently than you did when you woke up today. What roofs and blankets cannot do, is keep us safe and comfortable in our internal world. Only we can do that.
We grasp for control
In our attempt to feel secure, we try to control our external environment. But in this place, there is no room for the unknown, for freedom, for magic. We are never actually in control, as we are powerless over other people, places, and situations. So when we let go of the need for security, we let go of control. And when we do this, we may at first feel uneasy or uncomfortable because we are pointing the focus inward. We will continue to feel discomfort until we learn to be totally okay without security. We feel liberated when we realize that security does not lie in anything we can touch or see. It lies within.
Start grasping and start asking questions
Where do you feel insecure? Self conscious? Uncertain? Look there. What objects give you the illusion of filling these voids or push you to grasp for concrete answers? Tear your relationship down with those objects. Let go of your attachments to them. You don't have to get rid of them, but instead, form new relationships with them.
What can they provide you with when you realize they cannot keep you secure? How can they serve you in navigating the deepest parts of your inner self? If answering this feels heavy, start by activating your senses. Whatever you’re working with - what does it feel like, smell like? Run you hands over it, take note of the material, shape, and texture. You’ll start to ground into your body, and the physicality will awaken connection with yourself, so that you can dive into the inner most depths with some genuine comfort.
Photo by Lauren Moore of Paige Geffen’s home.