Boundaries and Consent
Two loaded words, if you’re a woman. Or a human being in 2017.
I’ve been accidentally stumbling into boundaries a lot, lately. And I’ve noticed a lot of my lady friends have, too. Not talking sexually here, although that’s totally valid and extremely relevant. I’m talking about personal, energetic boundaries in life and while running a business.
As women, we give x 10000000. Yeah, duh. “Saying ‘no’ is really hard.” Uh huh. But I think it’s drawing boundaries that’s harder … bc boundaries require discernment. A simple “no” lacks nuance—it’s a blanket statement. Sticking to boundaries you've consciously set requires daily thought and practice.
It’s difficult and necessary to draw clear boundaries. Honestly, they aren’t to protect you from other people. They’re there to protect you from yourself. We need them to save our creativity, to protect our deliberateness and intentionality, to keep our pure inspiration from getting tarnished or obscured by other unimportant shit.
On Wednesday during our oh holisticism x WellDone. X Quilt event, “Tapping Into Your Zone of Genius,” Jillian Villafane channeled a message and mantra for the group:
I do not consent to living beneath the truth of who I am
I release all shame, blame, and guilt.
Create strong boundaries by acknowledging what you do not consent to.
Sometimes it’s easier to get clear on how we do not want to act, or the type of person we don’t want to be with, or the life that don’t want to live than it is to outline what we do want. So if you’re having trouble deciding what you want in your life, talk about what you don’t want. As Farrah Marissa so beautifully said on Wednesday night, “As we shift our attitude, our perception naturally opens and inspires new creative action.”
- I do not consent to living beneath the truth of who I am. The truth of who you really are is pretty epic—the truth of who you are is powerful, expansive, limitless, and that potential is a little bit scary. By owning that you do not consent to ignoring that anymore, you open up to the space to truly step into your potential and work from your real ‘zone of genius.”
- I release all shame, blame, and guilt. Whatever was keeping you from living below the line of who you truly are … let that shit go. Could be old patterns and thoughts, could be fear, could be someone else’s opinion of you. Whatever, dude. That shit is like fake news for your mindset. Acknowledge it’s there, and it’s always gonna be there in some way, but have the discernment to ignore it. It’s not important or useful or even correct.
Jillian recommended we all say this mantra out loud, especially before writing out goals or plans.
For a quick, 2-minute meditation that’ll protect you [BOUNDARIES!] and clear obstacles from your path [I DO NOT CONSENT TO THAT SHIT!], I love the Kundalini Triple Mantra Just close your eyes and listen to the chant—don’t worry about saying it. You’ll still get all the benefits by getting quiet and letting it wash over you. If you have a little more time, listen to the whole 8-minute track.