5 Questions to Help You Stay Connected to — Not Distracted From — Your Life's Purpose
It's perfect click-bait fodder: "The 10 Biggest Regrets in Life and How to Avoid Them."
Inevitably, the number one most common deathbed regret — the one that's mournfully admitted with a final breath — is simple: "I wish I dared to live a life true to myself, not the life others had expected of me."
One of my deepest fears has always been that I wouldn't live up to my purpose — that I wouldn't fulfill my potential. And seeing that failing to live a purposeful life is, like, the #1 deathbed confession really freaks me out. That means that MANY people (maybe even most?) get so distracted by the world's expectations that they fail to listen to the needs of their own souls. And I'm not that special, so the likelihood that I'll avoid this near-universal purpose pothole is pretty slim. Gulp.
I really, really don't want to be one of those people who looks back at the end of her life and says, "LOL, shit! Totally forgot to do my own thang and fuck all the haters. Absolutely slipped my mind. Darn." But it's easy to get knocked off course, right? We forget that Death is constantly breathing down our necks, staying on purpose sort of takes a backseat to more pressing matters, like how to pay rent or whether you should get off your hormonal birth control.
WOW DID THAT JUST TAKE A U-TURN ONTO MORBID AVENUE! Moving on.
But its also easy to get knocked off the Purposeful PathTM because living on purpose can be absolutely terrifying — it rarely comes with a roadmap or a step-by-step process to follow to ensure our success.
Sometimes being on/in purpose requires us to take actions no one has ever made before. Sometimes it asks us to go against what our families, friends, and lovers expect of us. Sometimes it asks us to give up the idea of the future that we thought we'd had, with the hope that when we're on purpose, we actually end up with something way better.
But it's unknown, so it's scary. And our Ego and Shadow, bless their souls, start to act up. Ego and Shadow exist within our minds to protect us, remember, so they're really only doing their jobs by keeping us small. Small = known. Known = safe. Even if safe = unfulfilled.
Living on purpose requires us to be conscious — like, almost annoyingly thoughtful — about our lives. It's like waking up and realizing that thing that you thought was reality was just a dream the whole time. Being on purpose also asks us to be honest about where we might be holding ourselves back and why we are holding ourselves back. It makes us own up to the truth that we are 100% in choice about the direction of our lives, all the time.
Here's the thing: It's tough to hold your purpose in your mind all day, every day, 24/7, for your whole damn life.
First, because we are beings with zero ability to focus, thanks to social media and also life. Second, because purpose ebbs and flows. Your mission when you're 22 is probably not going to be the same as when you're 42. That's great! It shouldn't be! But, that natural evolution does mean that we need to check in with our purpose pretty regularly to make sure we don't miss the significant sea change.
Evolution is a minute process that takes place daily over years. Unfortunately, when we don't tune into ourselves regularly, we wake up one morning blindsided by the person we've evolved into. It seems like it happened overnight — but really it's been in process for a long, long time.
One of the easiest ways to start living on and in purpose is to tap into your true self and needs every day. It will keep you tuned into your actions to make sure most of your life is oriented around being on purpose, but a regular practice also helps prevent that "WTF!" wake-up moment in the future.
Keep scrolling for 5 questions to ask yourself to reconnect to your self and your purpose daily.
5 Questions to Reconnect You to Your Purpose
What distracts you from the course?
We could likely check in every day because, welp, many external factors contribute to our distraction daily. You're constantly bombarded with the "busy-work" of life — the sorts of boring mundanities that creep up on us and waste our time and energy and passion.
Those are the little things, like getting your laundry done and redoing the house and listening to podcasts and following that influencer who 'expands' you obsessively on social media and petty dramas between friends or coworkers.
Then there are the bigger things, like deep fears, anxiety, and external sociological expectations that aren't necessarily in alignment with who we are, but make us question ourselves to distract from our real purpose, whatever that may be.
As you're reading this, you're probably already thinking of where you might be wasting time or energy that just doesn't really matter.
Ask yourself: What in my life is distracting me from being on purpose?
Are you living in your body?
If we're rushing through life it's easy to get distracted by the things that don't matter — after a while, we end up wasting lots of time and energy on things that don't bring us any closer to embodying our purpose.
One way to slow down is to remember that you are a living thing with a human body. SURPRISE! Seriously though, when was the last time that you felt how human and delightful your body was? It's a weird little skin suit you get to borrow this time around — there's definitely some divinity in that.
When we're distracted, though, we allow our souls to live a little outside of our bodies. They're a bit up and out, not totally grounded down into our human forms.
Every morning ask yourself, "What percentage of my soul is really living in my body?" Then, decide how much of your soul you want to be embodied in your human form. I'd recommend 100%. Close your eyes and feel your energetic body gracefully sink into your physical body. Take a deep breath and allow them to merge together, like fitting a hand in a glove.
Getting more in touch with your body is an amazing way to also recognize when you're getting downloads and messages from the Universe.
If you could write a spell for yourself, what would it be?
Ground yourself in your purpose every day by repeating a mantra or a ritual every day. Completing this task will be like flicking a switch — it reminds you to turn your purpose on. It can be small, we're not talking about a four-hour daily ceremony.
In witchcraft, casting a spell often requires a witch to repeat a small task every day for a set period. Spell work is basically just forming a habit — the one casting the spell has to be intentional every day until their ritual is over to magically create their desired outcome.
"Words convey power and intent and can be used to create realities where none existed previously, which is, after all, the goal of many magic spells. Words, sounds, and syllables may possess their own inherent power in the same fashion that minerals and botanicals do. Zora Neale Hurston, the author and scholar/practitioner of magic, on considering the origins of magic and magic spells, suggested that God was the original Hoodoo Doctor, having spoken the world into creation with magic words."
Excerpt From: Judika Illes. "The Element Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells: The Ultimate Reference Book for the Magical Arts." iBooks.
Although there are tried and true spells that exist in a book like "The Element Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells: The Ultimate Reference Book for the Magical Arts," spells are also created by the person who writes them and says them. In this way, any personal mantra or ritual is essentially a spell. Your mantra spell can be simple, and whatever you like. My personal mantra is a reminder: "See my ego's desire, and choose my soul's desire."
Negative, neutral, or positive?
Being intentional with your time — being in choice about how you spend your time — is a really beautiful way to reconnect to yourself daily. Are you consciously spending time living on purpose, or is life kind of just happening to you?
It's easier said than done, but, ask yourself:
Is this distracting from me embodying my purpose?
Is this a neutral force on me embodying my purpose?
Is this positively adding to my ability to embody my purpose?
I recommend asking all three of these questions in this order. You'll be surprised at what's in your life that you may have considered a positive or even neutral force that's actually detracting from your ability to be on purpose.
Being on purpose is powerful, but it takes work in a world that’s constantly offering up distractions. But it doesn’t take much to get reconnected with your purpose daily — just a few thoughtful questions, and five to ten minutes of introspective time.