Breakups as Spiritual Growth with Team Holisticism
Episode Description
Breakups suck. There's no light way of saying it. But, they can also be extremely magical. Breakups of any kind can be huge catalysts for spiritual and magical growth, and create space for you to evolve into a more evolved version of yourself. Today we're talking about breakups with team Holisticism and you're going to get to know us very well! Let us know your breakup awakening by texting us @ +1 818-699-9735, we'd love to hear from you!
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It's not even the person you're grieving. It's the idea of the future that you held for yourself or even the idea of the relationship as you saw it and not as it was. - Janelle Pearson
Every time that you heal yourself or you work on yourself, you're changing the outcome. - Michelle Pellizzon
Breakups are so much, and they're also so magical. All of the best things that ever happened to me came out of breakups. Even though I was in so much pain, the most magical and truly all my spiritual awakenings and all my magical awakenings happened when I went through a breakup, and I'm grateful now for them. - Michelle Pellizzon
Self-trust is more important than mastering self-love when it comes to being in a relationship. Because when you can trust yourself and that you've got your own back, you can trust what's coming up for you. Then you can stand in your power. - Thais Francis
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Anchor, Breaker, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic
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If you liked hearing our take on breakups, check out our episode "Exploring Shadow Work with Team Holisticism" where Michelle, Wallis, and Janelle talk about all things shadow work and how to find the gems that sometimes lay dormant in the depths of our subconscious (where our shadow loves to hide!). We touch on the origins of shadow work (in the West), how our shadows show up in our intimate relationships, six rules for doing shadow work, and some of our favorite exercises.
SHOW NOTES
[00:00:05] Podcast begins.
[00:00:17] PCCL is officially closed.
[00:00:34] For those who missed enrolling, PCCL will be opened again next year.
[00:01:00] The North Node will be accepting new students in a couple of months. Stay tuned!
[00:02:05] Today, we're talking about relationships.
[00:02:26] “I've always been obsessed with love.” - Michelle
[00:02:50] Michelle talked about her first real breakup.
[00:03:16] How do people not burst into tears after a breakup?
[00:04:08] Hearing other people going through the same pain as hers helped Michelle moved on.
[00:04:49] Embrace the pain. Do not run away from it.
[00:06:23] Breakups could be so much, yet so magical.
[00:07:38] Fear to love again after a terrible breakup is normal.
[00:08:14] “I wish someone had given me the advice when I was laying on the floor of my bedroom, crying over some guy, that it was going to be fine.” - Michelle
[00:09:17] We have Janelle, Thais, Wallis, and Michelle to share about how breakups could be a catalyst for awakening and deeper understanding of oneself.
[00:09:35] Janelle is in the middle of her very first breakup.
[00:11:19] Breakups are hard…
[00:11:39] We tend to lose our identity when we are in a relationship. We should self-check if we really like something, or we just forced ourselves to like it just to make the other person happy.
[00:13:00] “I want a ceremony, I want a party, I want marriage. But I just had to convince myself that it wasn't important to me because it wasn't important to my partner.” - Janelle
[00:14:25] “This is my fifth breakup!”
[00:15:00] “We built a life together.”
[00:15:26] “I was so young, and it felt like our whole lives were completely intertwined.”
[00:15:51] “I thought he would never hurt me. …we'd planned our future together.”
[00:16:12] Breakup is grieving over yourself, who you were, and how you are never going to be the same person again.
[00:16:32] Breakups could take a really long time to get over with.
[00:18:23] “What I wanted wasn't what I had.” - Janelle
[00:19:46] Totally denial is real!
[00:20:45] Ethan almost friend-zoned Michelle!
[00:22:00] We get to choose our destiny and we're on a trajectory.
[00:22:20] If we pivot our trajectory, we can pick a new outcome for ourselves.
[00:23:17] We tend to be someone we’re not just to make a relationship work.
[00:24:27] Relationships are not all roses, but it shouldn't feel hard.
[00:25:53] “I've learned how to communicate with someone who doesn't necessarily want to communicate.” – Janelle
[00:27:53] Are we not supposed to have unconditional love within the relationship?
[00:28:48] “It doesn't mean I don't love him anymore, but I'm not going to put myself in the position to just keep being cheated on.”
[00:30:54] “My idea of a perfect relationship is having a safe space to land for my partner, and vice versa. I realized that I didn't know how to do that.” - Janelle
[00:32:04] I didn't want him to see me vulnerable. I was scared that it would make him see me differently.
[00:32:22] When depression kicks, Ethan is Michelle’s Mr. Sunshine.
[00:35:30] At the end of the day, when you break up with somebody, you're just left with yourself.
[00:37:00] Michelle shared her good breakup story.
[00:43:12] “At one point, I was being held emotionally hostage in that relationship, and I didn't recognize it for what it was.” - Janelle
[00:44:05] Janelle came to the point that she was beating herself up, and even questioned everything about herself and her intuition. She felt like a failure.
[00:44:55] Janelle was so willing to fix the relationship through therapy. However, her partner refused to go.
[00:45:10] Nobody should ever describe a relationship before going into it as easy.
[00:46:09] If you're in a situation and you're doing all the effort, analyze your relationship because, at some point, you may energetically not be on the same page.
[00:47:17] Grow together.
[00:47:57] Human likes to categorize things. We like clear distinctions. But life is not clear.
[00:49:57] Now that I am in a healthy relationship, one of the things that came with it is self-worth.
[00:52:36] Michelle shared how much tone matters to Ethan.
[00:53:30] Relationship is a commitment.
[00:58:33] Thais shared how happily in love her parents are.
[00:58:53] “I think you just have to be really forgetful.” - Thais
[01:00:18] Forgive like a child. Don’t hold grudges.
[01:04:19] If you could hold on to that perspective that there's so many out there, it makes it easier to let go.
[01:07:31] Like the moon. It will always go, but it will always come, and it just phases.
[01:08:03] One of the sweet spots of a breakup is taking your power back and doing again the things that make me happy.
[01:12:09] This relationship showed me how little grace I can give myself during hard times.
[01:12:30] Everyone shared their best breakup solutions.
[01:13:00] Delete his number, block him on Instagram.
[01:13:14] Feel good and feel sexy about yourself.
[01:13:43] Reclaim your power.
[01:14:07] Travel alone. Create new core memories. Adopt a dog or a pet.
[01:14:57] Be productive. Watch a movie. Spend time with your friends.
[01:15:19] Lean on your friends.
[01:16:43] Pick up the tarot. Talk to your spirit guides. Join The Cusp.
[01:17:14] End of discussion on breakups!
[01:17:53] Love is fun until it's not.
[01:19:00] Podcast ends.
PEOPLE AND RESOURCES MENTIONED
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