Living on Purpose and Being a Love Extremist With Ethan Lipsitz and Michelle Pellizzon
Episode Description
Today we're lucky to have Michelle's partner, Ethan Lipsitz as our guest. Michelle and Ethan share the kismet story of how they met, their views on living as love extremists, how they cope with death, and how to live out each day with purpose and love. This is a very personal and juicy episode full of heartfelt moments!
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I use the metaphor often of floating at sea without seeing land. In the sense that we're not entirely sure what direction we're going, but maybe we can drop an anchor. There are certain anchors that we could drop or certain navigational points in the sky that we could look to. But ultimately, we kind of need to get comfortable with that idea of floating at sea to a degree. — Ethan Lipsitz
If we're actually going to operate and orient around love, which I believe is our purpose as human beings, then you have to get real with your attention and your time. That is the first practice of self love, is setting those boundaries and forgiving the people who you hold grudges against, because it's only making you sick. It's having patience with yourself, because healing takes time. It's not going to be instant when you're on the path to whatever the next thing is, it's going to take a little while. All of that is like the tough sides of self love.
It could all crumble in a moment and in many cases, the unexpected happens, so having some kind of flexibility, malleability, or agility to move with the punches or the obstacles, I think is part of living a purposeful life. - Ethan Lipsitz
There's always another option, we just close ourselves down. We think there's only one or two pathways when in reality, there are infinite open doors, we just have to go find the doors. - Michelle Pellizzon
When your health relies on you trusting that you need to operate on purpose first, then that takes precedent sometimes over professional opportunities. - Ethan Lipsitz
If something is occupying our time and attention and it's no longer generative or necessary, you want to either donate it, give it away or delegate it. Essentialism is always changing and always shifting. So it's about knowing that and being ready to say ok, it's time to shift, it's time to change that. - Ethan Lipsitz
We only learn how to love ourselves, by the mirroring that we engage with when we are loved, or when we are not loved. - Ethan Lipsitz
What makes me more loving? That starts with, what do I love to do? How do I love to take care of myself? How do I love to engage with people around me? How do I love to engage with the planet? What do I like to spend my time on? - Ethan Lipsitz
I have talked to brain scientists who study neuroplasticity and say that love is the natural state of the brain, that's the healthiest place to be. - Ethan Lipsitz
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Anchor, Breaker, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic
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If you loved this episode, check out our team episode "Breakups As Spiritual Growth with Team Holisticism" where Team Holisticism goes deep on the ways that breakups of any kind can be huge catalysts for spiritual and magical growth, and create space for you to evolve into a more evolved version of yourself.
SHOW NOTES
[00:00:06] Podcast begins
[00:02:02] Today, we have a special guest, someone very close to Michelle’s heart --- Ethan.
[00:02:25] “To me, he’s the most amazing person in the world and the most inspirational. And I feel so lucky that I get to share my life with him, and sometimes a little selfish that I don't share him enough with all of you.” - Michelle
[00:04:09] Ethan introduced himself as Michelle’s lover and future husband.
[00:05:12] Michelle asked her Akashic records as to when will she be meeting her husband.
[00:06:19] Story of how Ethan and Michelle met.
[00:13:23] Listen to the diagnosis, but don't believe the prognosis.
[00:14:10] The day they met was Ethan’s one-year anniversary of when he had brain surgery.
[00:17:43] Ethan answered the question, “how do you navigate when life feels uncertain, and how do you live on purpose?”
[00:19:03] It's inevitable that your best-laid plans are not going to go the way that you want them to go.
[00:21:18] “There still are birds chirping, right? There's still our leaves on the trees, there still is a sun we can bathe under?” - Ethan
[00:25:57] “I think about making plans with you, and operating as if I will live a long, healthy life. And that's my agenda.” - Ethan
[00:27:35] “I got something to wake up for tomorrow, and I'm psyched about today.” - Ethan
[00:28:10] Brain scientists who study neuroplasticity say that love is the natural state of the brain, that's the healthiest place to be.
[00:28:30] Ethan shared how Michelle makes sure he stays on track in living on purpose.
[00:32:54] Financial security makes my life much easier, but if you end up alone and miserable, and you've wasted half of your life, was it worth it?
[00:33:46] People would often claim love being their top priority in life, or happiness. But if you look at how they spend their time and attention, that's not the case.
[00:34:11] Ethan cited examples of practicing self-love.
[00:35:31] Love is the most powerful weapon that no man can ever claim to own or understand.
[00:39:11] “Your love shows up sharp, yet there's always a softness behind it. And I wouldn't want it any other way.” - Ethan
[00:39:28] It's easy to be in relationships that are easy, but it's not necessarily fun or interesting.
[00:43:16] “We're not going to break up just because we're having a fight. It's okay to disagree.” - Michelle
[00:43:56] Never ignore or avoid a fight --- it will lead to a deeper problem along the way.
[00:50:19] “I don't want to live my life without you. You're my person and my best friend.” - Michelle
[00:50:34] “Every day and every year is a reason to celebrate for both of us, and every moment we get to spend together is a gift. And I don't ever want to lose sight of that, I never want to forget that.” - Ethan
[00:57:26] Essentialism asks you to ask every day what is essential.
[01:09:31] We're not born knowing how to love ourselves.
[01:15:44] Love doesn't come from an empty space. Love comes from your experiences, or what's been positioned to you as love before you can create your own definitions and practices.
[01:16:49] “I friendzone you but that was because I wanted to go slow.” - Ethan
[01:17:03] Michelle and Ethan shared how their love developed.
[01:22:03] Question for the audience: “Should we acquire a vehicle and paint it for our next road trip? Or should we just take our old dependable Subaru station wagon?”
[01:26:49] Michelle is working on managing the attention she gives to people, specifically on SMS and emails.
[01:28:39] They exchange ideas on white supremacy.
[01:31:54] Living on purpose is simply waking up every day, and having a reason for it, and being excited about it.
[01:34:09] Your purpose can change over time.
[01:34:23] Choose the better story.
[01:34:35] If you're prioritizing love, the joy, and the fulfillment, and the depth and the growth, and even the challenge and the metal, will all come through that.
[01:35:52] Ethan answered the question, “What would your life look like if you lived with love being the centerpiece of it in five years?”
[01:41:28] Ethan gave some advice to those who are looking for love.
[01:44:28] Follow Ethan on Instagram
[01:45:26] Podcast ends.
PEOPLE AND RESOURCES MENTIONED
Ethan's IG https://www.instagram.com/ethanlipsitz/
Albert Einstein's exact quote, “We can explain how the universe works, yet we cannot say why people fall in love. Some things remain governed by mysterious, yet intriguing forces.”