5 Wellness Lessons I Wish I Learned A Decade Ago

OK, it feels a little silly to be writing this headline because I'm 30. 

Technically, I'll be 31 in February. But still, 20 to 30? Not the most significant temporal gap. I know. 

But in terms of maturity and wisdom? Good lordt, I feel like a completely different human. When I was 25, I'd just gotten out of my first significant relationship, made a cross-country move, and landed a job at a tech startup. I did cardio religiously, didn't eat white carbs (oh my god, I missed out on so much good bread), and had just started experimenting with natural deodorant. 

I'd like to think that at that time in my life, I was still privileged enough to have a grasp on well-being practices. After I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 17, I got into healthy eating and started doing yoga regularly. My experiences led to me a somatic therapist, and eventually to an energy healer. I had a degree in holistic nutrition and had a handful of certifications in sports training and yoga. 

But let's be honest — there were so many gaps in my well-being.

Yeah, I was healthy, but I wasn't like, healthy, you know? It took me a really long time to actually reach a level of well-being that felt real. Hell, I'm still learning. 

Turns out, the physical body is only like, 10% of the equation to health. I dunno, maybe even less than that. So if you're chugging green juices and lacing up your sneaks for a five-mile run every morning — great! But, I wish that someone had told me back then that there was more to all of this than flat-abs and clear skin and whatever else "health" is supposed to look like. 

Today I'm sharing what I wish I'd known when I first got into this space a decade ago. I still have so much to learn — and I hope this next decade brings wisdom and lessons, too! Life, man, it's dimensional and deep af. 

Anyways, with that, THE LEARNINGS! 

Your wellness practices don't need to be all or nothing. 

Oh hi, I'm talking to you, my darling Type-A overachiever. You and I, we get each other. We are each other. So, I'm gonna ask you to lower your guard while I tell you this: You don't have to be perfect. 

You can intermittent fast some days, and not others. You can eat a carb. You can be really into meditating every morning, and then leave it for a few months. You don't need to do every day of the 30-day exercise challenge if you're too sore to function. If you hate every minute of a workshop you signed up for, you can leave. You're smart enough to know the difference between discomfort and pain. Don't try to be a hero by flexing your stamina — really, that doesn't help anyone. 

All-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking sets you up for disaster, most of the time. Life does not exist in binary structure — things are not just "wrong" or "right." Good or bad. Healthy or unhealthy. 

Sticking to a static, rigid schedule can sometimes be helpful. But more often than not, it ends up stressing you out. You miss the forest for the trees. You mistake well-being for a series of actions you can perform flawlessly, instead of a state of mind. 

Your growth edge, my guy, is when you give yourself the space to notice how you are feeling, and then make a decision about what to do with those feelings. The development of new skills and improved well-being comes in the critical thinking, contemplation, and choice-making behind your decisions. 

When you're not "feeling" something anymore … you don't have to do it. 

You can ... quit. In fact, I recommend you quit more things. There are very few things in life you have to do. 

Similarly to the idea that you don't need to be rigid with your practices, you also can let things go when you feel like they aren't helping you anymore. 

So — check in with yourself. What, if anything, in your routine does not spark joy or improvement? 

Do your supplements truly make you feel better, or are you just taking them because the packaging is cute? Does that blogger you used to love still inspire you, or just leave you lukewarm and you kind of hate-follow her now for old time's sake? Does your morning routine leave you feeling restored, or does it really just stress you out? 

Don't feel guilty about quitting things (or people). We rarely quit forever, and sometimes the space can be clarifying. 

You can do it yourself, but it will take longer, will probably be more expensive, and might get you sad. 

You can do anything, but you can't do everything. 

Capable as you are, you will try to figure all things out on your own first. 

You will read all the books. Listen to all the podcasts. Go to all the workshops. Voraciously digest information in your attempt to understand and master new concepts. All the information you need really is in a book, or on Google, somewhere.

But sometimes, you will need a little help to get to where you want to go faster and with more ease. DIY all you want — but for some things, I want you to hire someone to help you. 

A coach, a teacher, a guide, a therapist, a mentor. You'll know the right people when they come along. These experts will help you get to where you want to go, so don't be stubborn. Do your due diligence (hi, you always do, you skeptical little minx), and then begin working with them. 

You are your best investment. Don't be stingy with yourself — you know that you'll grow 10x whatever you invest in your education or care. 

Seriously, you need to meditate. 

I mean, yeah. That's it. You're going to fall asleep at first, you'll say it's not for you, and then you'll go to an amazing free class at Insight Meditation and you'll be changed forever. Don't delay, please.  

The things you are afraid of are the things that will bring you the most joy — and the most valuable lessons. 

You don't have to fit in anywhere. 

You will be scared to tell people that you believe in astrology. That you are curious about Tarot cards (go buy the deck and start practicing!). That you hear auras and get messages. 

You will be so embarrassed of your interest in things like breathwork and moon circles and womb healing ceremonies that you will roll your eyes in public when they are mentioned. 

But then you'll get into these spaces, and you'll be embarrassed by your interest in technology. You'll be shy to tell people that you actually love numbers and data because you'll feel like it's not wellness-y enough. You'll be confused as to why people would willingly volunteer that they don't read the news because they're "too sensitive." You'll be really self-conscious that you care so much about politics, but no one else wants to talk about them. 

My god, woman, just be yourself. Talk about what you care about. Do what you like. Nobody is better or worse than you. You don't need to fall in line to be accepted. All that matters is that you're true to yourself, and you accept yourself. And that you don't act like a total asshole — honor other people doing their thing, too. 

Chase after your interests with patience and enthusiasm. Curiosity is enchanting! Try them on for size and see if they suit you for a while. Change your mind if you want. 

Conclusion

Listen — you couldn't get me to redo my twenties if you paid me. I'm glad I'm where I'm at ... this is the oldest I've ever been! And the wisest. 

If you're just getting started on your journey into the world of wellness, I hope you can learn from my mistakes. And if you're deep into it, maybe these reminders will ring home for you, too.